Superman's in pajamas on the couch

Well, today is the day. Only took me 4.5 years. I'm supposed to wander across the stage somewhere in between 1:30 and 3:30. My college is no cool enough to have their small graduation ceremony, so I have to go to the big one (cause my parents bought a cap and gown for me, which I will be trying to sell after graduation). I was bugging my brother about a graduation present yesterday and he said I took too long, that it expired, those were the rules. Some brother, huh.
So, I was reading the thing they sent me in the mail about graduation, they just take all the fun out of stuff.
Caps and Gowns
"Your cap should be worn level, not tilted, with the tassel on the left side (both before and after receiving your degree). Decorations on caps may be confiscated...appropriate business clothing should be work under your gown."
The Ceremony
"Bringing champagne to the ceremony, displaying signs, and engaging in disruptive activities is prohibited. Staff will confiscate any bottles or containers or alcohol. Possession of alcohol may result in not being allowed to participate in the ceremony."
Diploma Distribution
"Graduation requirements will be verified AFTER the graduation." (emphasis added)

And, while reading where I am supposed to check-in, I noticed they need to change the numbering on the sheet, cause the coliseum (that I work in) changed their numbering this year, way to be confusing people.