Monday, March 31, 2008

I want a ticket to anywhere

Fast Car by Tracy Chapman

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere

Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

You see my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
I say his body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way

I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
And we go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs

I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans
I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way

Ever feel like that? Wish I had a fast car to take me away.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

I don't know who I am anymore

"I just... what happened to us? You know? I don't know who I am anymore. Or how I got here. I miss who I used to be. I wanna have a home again, ya know? And real friends. You know, the kind of friendships we used to believe in. I miss that....I guess I just miss all of it. Does any of that make any sense?"
Took this quote from the show I was watching tonight, rings pretty true in my life.

Saturday, March 29, 2008


I'm so screwed. I'm debating whether to cash in my camel bank's savings. I've had this bank since I was a little kid, I'm pretty sure there's not much money in it, but it has sentimental value. It was supposed to be saved until I needed it. It's sad to say that I need it now. I'm cashing in all my new state quarters, that in itself is over $10, I figured I really don't need them collecting dust, they're gonna be around forever anyway. I'm ok with money now, but the beginning of the month is coming up and after rent, student loans, credit card bill, I'm gonna be so screwed. And I know there's no unexpected money deposited into my bank account this time, no tax rebate for me. I can't even cash in the money I made in surveys, cause I already did that. I've been posting things like crazy on my etsy store, hoping someone will want to buy them, but since it's a $0.20 posting fee, it doesn't seem worth it to keep racking up a bill on there when nothing is selling. Course, I also keep thinking that once I put everything up, something (or maybe even a lot of things) will sell, and I'll be ok. But there's not a lot up there (moneywise) that would buy me out of debt. The temporary agency I got hired with says they usually get busy around April 1st, well April starts on Tuesday, so I'm hoping that's the case and I'll get something.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Do you ever get away?

I was watching Bones tonight, and at the end, Agent Booth says to Bones "When you're away with someone, you joke about not going back...but when you're alone, the possibilities are endless".
It led me to thinking, what if it's not a joke, but the other person believes it, because it'd be insane or wrong to not want to go back. I wonder how many people only laugh because it's the norm to laugh. Maybe they're lonely, even with someone, hate their job, though it may be the perfect job, don't even want to live, even if they have the perfect life.
Then I started thinking, is it a joke to me or not?

Thursday, March 27, 2008

crazy old days

Since I have no job at the moment, I'm attempting to sell my artwork/some supply items I have on an online art website. If anyone's interested, I'm sticking a link up on the side. It's a really neat site to browse through.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

This is your hometown.

Kevin and I were in Walmart the other day and I was debating whether to buy a CD or not, I asked him and he said I didn't really need THAT CD. That CD, which I did end up buying, is Bruce Springsteen's Greatest Hits. I grew up listening to the record of Born In The USA, I can tell what song is on side two of the record (No Surrender). I borrowed my Dad's boxed set of Bruce's and copied the whole thing onto my computer and Mp3 player. I find it quite funny how Kevin doesn't quite get the whole thing of how much I love The Boss. Wonder if that kinda makes me older than him. My dad raised my brother and I on Bruce Springsteen, Elton John and Billy Joel, I even remember listening to Old Time Rock N Roll by Bob Seger numerous times.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

She lets you into her heart

I knew what I wanted the first time I ever saw him.
I walked into my Criminal Justice class that day, saw him leaning over his desk and thought I’d like to have him for a boyfriend. Now, two years later, he is. I’m in love with him and I would marry him and have his children if he asked me too.
I was thinking tonight, as I watched him climb into his truck and start it up, I’m surprised it actually happened. I’ve been watching him get into that truck and drive away since the first time he came over. We were just acquaintances then, he had broken up with his girlfriend a few months before, and all I wanted at the moment was to be there for him if he needed it. I knew nothing about relationships, but I told him if he needed anything, I’d try to help him out. He came over because we were both very bored on that day in April, we spent a few hours here, me giving him a 25 cent tour of my apartment and him (most likely very bored) learning about me. We then continued across town to his apartment and me getting the quarter tour from him. We talked until about 11 that night. A few nights later he came over after work and we talked until 2 in the morning. That’s the way it continued for a few weeks. When I got my job in March, he was the first person I called and told. I brought him along to a bike night and he met my best friend. After we got back from that I remember talking to her and her mom, and them telling me “don’t overthink it” I’ve taken that advice and we’ve come so far. The ring on my finger will always tell every other person guy or girl, that I’m taken, it’s not an engagement ring, but I would say yes if it were.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The best of blue

My parents took me out to lunch today, and for the first time they didn't bring up work and money. I figured that's what they were gonna do. They've learned that in order to back me into a corner, they have to give me something in return, like bribing a child to do something they don't want to do.
I've found out how much my mother and I have grown apart. It seems that now I can go out and form my own opinion, we don't agree like we used to. She's still stuck in her councilperson mode, she has to get all the facts and the majority opinion before she can give her own "opinion". She also has this great (annoying) tendency to just bring something up and then when someone asks a question about it, she gets mad and says how she shouldn't have to know the answer.

I'm watching Makeover Home Edition, and they're remodeling a house of a preacher who also rides motorcycles, and they ask a whole bunch of bikers to help them tear down the house. I so MISS biking.
I've already told Kevin that I plan on putting my CL ad up again this year. I miss it that much. He's all worried that the biker will get the wrong idea, or that I'll read them wrong and end up on the back of the bike with the wrong person. I tried to assure him that that wouldn't happen. I think it's more of I'm gonna be on the back of a guy's (usually it's a guy) bike. Wouldn't want some other guy getting me. I just really miss being on the back of a bike. Out on the open road, it's so free, so far away from stress and life.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


UGH! So, I'm wondering if I became allergic to something in the past couple of days. Last night I was itching around my belly and had some raised spots that kinda looked like bug bites, also my ears were extremely red and hot. I researched a little on the net this morning, and it looked like I had hives. The website I was at, said they would go away and maybe come back. They did, they went away last night, and then came back this morning, went away, came back this afternoon, went away and came back again tonight. My ears were also very red and hot and itchy again tonight. I was trying to think if there was a common thing I ate or came in contact with today and yesterday. But I really can't think of anything, except my guinea pig and drinking the Vault. I'm wondering if, for some reason, I'm getting allergic to the Vault, or that my body's having a weird reaction to it. I have no idea. Any thoughts?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

It's a hope ticket

Only really big news is that we have a SuperWalmart now. I swear everytime I go in it, (I've been there 2 times in the last week) it feels like I'm in Cedar Rapids, not here. Guess it's time we realize we're finally becoming a big city. Next thing you know we'll have a new mall, and if we're lucky the guy that owns the other mall will get in gear and make that one much better.
Let's see, other interesting stuff about me....My w's turned 4 last week. Karli had her 24th birthday, which we celebrated (her, me, Kevin, and 4 other of her friends) at Okoboji Grill (can you believe there's not an Okoboji Grill in Okoboji?) with food and a drink, then 5 of us continued on to Brewer's (a smokeless bar in Somerset) and had another drink, you can really taste the alcohol in those drinks. I had one drink there, and it felt like the time I drank on an empty stomach (my stomach was full this time). And then the next day, I got to go work the last basketball game of the season, that was bumming, cause now I have no regular work. I hate that I'm going through this all again this year, so much for graduating college and having a guaranteed high-paying job. I don't think I'll last til May this year, my tax refund helped, but I'm pretty sure I won't last til May. Course last year, when I was at my wit's end I found a job, I'm really hoping that's what will happen this year, course I don't want to be at my wit's end, but.... I'm also trying to sell some of my artwork online, it's not working, but when you choose to put it on a site where there's thousands of other sellers, you just hope your stuff will catch someone's eye.
I'm trying to think if there's anything else new, but I decided if I have to think this long, there's probably not.
Hope all my loyal readers and one time passers by are having a good day and life. Enjoy it.