Thursday, June 29, 2006

Well, shit

OK, so if you've been a reader for the past couple of days, you will have noticed that I deleted my last entry complaining about my brother not following directions in the present I wanted for my birthday. Today, I found out there was a reason he didn't follow directions. My mother, some time while we were in Chicago, wondered off and bought the shirt I wanted. So, I'm not annoyed with him anymore. It's kind of wierd that my mom bought it, since she's the one that said I should tell Ross (my brother) that I wanted it. Especially since I'm pretty (almost positive) sure she hates the fact that I love motorcycles and riding them. She's only recently kinda happy about the helmet I bought in September.
So, we all know my parents are great at upsetting me, mostly my mom, but my dad's been doing it lately too. Today, particularly, I returned a call to him, and he was complaining about the fact that I was out walking instead of helping him move furniture, well one he waited until the last minute to do this, as my parents are leaving for a trip mighty early Sat morning, and tomorrow after work, they have to pack and all that other shit. And, this is the first time I'd heard that he needed/wanted my help moving crap. And the thing that upset me is, I told him he'd have to get more gas for the mower if he wanted me to mow while they were gone, and he said he wouldn't have time to do it tonight, and that I should do it. I really don't have a problem with that, except that I'm only mowing the yard for them, I personally don't give a shit if it doesn't get mowed. And plus our agreement was that I mowed and he got gas. But of course since he waited til the last minute to do this crap before leaving he throws it on me, and somehow it's my fault.
Oh, and I should be cleaning my apartment right now, as the pest control guy is coming tomorrow afternoon to spray the place, and if any of y'all know me, I'm a very messy person, well not so much messy, as lazy. I like to sit in my recliner and dump stuff on the floor around me, and as long as I can walk through it, I'm fine.
And the reason this is labeled "Well, shit" is cause I noticed as I'm sitting here on the floor eating my supper of Tostino's pizza Rolls and Mtn Dew, I somehow have rug burn on my elbow. Where the hell did that come from. And I apparently developed a blister right under the meeting of my big toe, and the one next to it. As if I have enough problems walking barefoot as it is.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I could never follow

Well I was chatting with Goddess about the guy I went out with last night. So, I'm gonna stick some of the stuff I mentioned in our chat in here. I'm really not sure about this guy, I was thinking today, as much as I love bikes and this guy is scared/doesn't like bikes, I'm not sure I can really be with someone who doesn't like bikes. I just don't feel anything for him, and I don't know what that means, maybe I'm just looking for a friend right now, and maybe I feel that would be wrong for him, because he told me he was looking for a gf. I'm just so confused.
So here are some rambling bits from my chat with Goddess:

I'm indifferent about it, I don't really feel anything, I'm trying to figure out what that means I think I was more intrigued that someone would think I was good looking and ask me out on a date. And then when we were talking, he said he loved the Chevy Corvette, but he was scared of bikes, that he was in the Marine Corps, and he didn't like country music. And then that he never watches TV, and he seems not so interested in the Marines, even though he was in the USMC, I find that wierd, I've never met a Marine that wasn't really interested in them, course I only know one that's not currently active, so... He just seems so indifferent about them, and that doesn't make sense, the other Marines I know, are not exactly 'active' but still interested in them. Plus, I've always heard, they're like a calling, it just doesn't sit well with me, that he's so indifferent about them. Plus I almost feel, oh, I don't know maybe a little smothered, he came into work today to look at some pics on my laptop, but I was busy and he said he'd come back later, Ialmost don't want him to come back, I don't know

And, I'm pretty sure no one reads this, but if someone other than Goddess does and has some input, I 'd love some.

To a life of shattered dreams

So, I went on a date tonight. Ice cream, walked through K-Mart, walked through Borders, and went to X-Men 3. It was fun. I learned he likes the same car I do, that he likes cars, was in the Marines 2 yrs ago. Joined the Marines to become a fighter pilot, and he thinks I'm beautiful.
I like him, but it feels more like we're friends, course that could be a good thing, my first love started out that way. When I think of someone as a potential SO first and a friend after, doesn't always work out well. But when I think of someone as a friend and then a potential SO, it's good. Like I said, my first love was that way and a friend down south, that I love to think may lead into or has lead into more.
I think I'm just confused.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Who says you can't go home?

A forum that I belong to is mainly badge bunnies and I didn't realize until today how much they dislike wives of cops. Someone had said one of them was a tramp and they took offense to that, but if you know what a badge bunny is, basically, you are a tramp. Apparently last year a cop's wife came in and dissed the badge bunnies and the bunny's got mad and the fight was on. And people wonder why there's a stereotype of cops cheating on their wives, when you have a bunch of bunny's, it's not hard to figure out.
Personally, I'm not a badge bunny, I just like cops, I don't sleep with them and I don't plan to unless I happen to be dating/married to one.
I'm trying to decide whether to leave the group or not, it seems to be mostly sex talk, which is not the reason I joined. I'm not looking to talk to a bunch of people about my sex life, their sex life, or the fact that they think they're hot. I'm looking for intelligent talk, is that so much to ask for?

Also, I have this guy in my neighborhood who I was talking to awhile ago, and he was complaining about some workers working on stuff at his house in the morning when he was trying to sleep. I realized last night that he's a hypocrite, as he has a tendency to get home at 11PM and ride off on his Harley, which everyone knows is quite noisy. So I don't see how it's ok for you to make noise when other people are trying to sleep, but it's not ok when someone else is making noise when you're trying to sleep. And of course these workers didn't start working until at least 8AM or later, when normal people are up. If the guy wasn't out doing stuff all night long, he'd be awake too. I love the guy (though he doesn't know it, maybe more of a deep like, I just happen to love all the cops in my city for what they do), but a little common sense would be nice.

Friday, June 23, 2006

What burns me

As they say on Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
One of the guys I work with has a bike and he rides it frequently (which is what you do if you have a bike). And he keeps saying he'll take me for a ride if he's ever in town with it, I've come to realize that he's just stringing me on when he says that, it's never gonna happen. Anyway, he comes in and says "Guess what I did last night/this weekend?" Not a hard guess, and then he goes on to tell me in detail about his rides and stuff about his bike. And it just drives me nuts. I don't get to ride often and, that doesn't bother me as much as someone shoving it in my face that they ride a lot. Sometimes I just wanna AAARRGGHHH!!!
I understand that I can't rub stuff in people's faces (that's just rude), I know how much it bugs Karli that she can't ride, so I don't mention the bikes I see on my walks or if I have a potential ride. I don't see the need to make her feel bad because she can't ride. Cause I know she misses riding her bike.
I think I've also become content not to ride (unless someone shoves it in my face when they come into the library). I'm very content to go on my walks and oogle at the hott guys, the sweet cars, and the nice bikes. As long as I get out and enjoy the weather, I'm fine. Yeah, I'm kinda bummed that I really haven't been able to break my helmet in too well (I've only used it twice since I bought it), but I'm ok with that.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

In the distance

So, I was chatting with an old friend today. Ok, not that old, I've known him for about 4 yrs, and I used to run into him when I was walking home and he was going home, me one way, him the other. And he'd see me, pull over and I'd lean in his truck window and we'd chat. I miss that. I chat with him periodically when I see him and he's working, or I call him, or he pops in on AIM. But it's not the same, maybe just cause he needs/wants to keep it short cause he's working or doing something else when I call him, or because he doesn't really like sitting in front of the computer. Our chats just seem so distant lately, and it bugs me. I just wish I could go back to 4 yrs ago, and chat again. Me standing there leaning in his truck window, feeling the air conditioner blow on me, as my feet suck in the hottness of the blacktop underneath.
Sometimes, I just wanna get lost and have a cop find me. Hell, I'm lost now, but no one's looking for me.

Think before speaking

So, I have a great problem of doing things before thinking. Mostly saying/posting stuff online before thinking, but still.
I recently did this with a friend who I met online and became close with. Well, I hadn't heard from her in awhile and then when stuff happened and she'd post about it, I was annoyed, not so much that she didn't tell me, but more because she hadn't told me in the few months that I hadn't talked to her. So I stuck something up on my blog, that I should have thought about longer and not posted.
That's at least the 2nd time I've done that. Sometimes I should just write the post, but wait a couple days to post it, because of things that you learn, and that your mood levels out in a few days.
Something else I should have thought about more, but still love, is my last tattoo. I have 3 tattoos, one: my display pic, two: a ring of flames on my arm, and three: the outline of a panther walking down my arm. In the beginning I wanted a wolf walking down my arm, but couldn't find a pic of what I wanted, so finally settled on a panther. Now, I'm not saying I don't love it, because I really do, just sometimes I look at it and think, I should have waited, or at least got it on my leg. My mom has even said she'd pay to have it removed. Now, it's no secret between my parents and I that they aren't very fond of my tattoos, but obviously my mom really hates this one. I actually considered the idea once, but then I researched it and found an outline will still be visible (which is what the tattoo is anyway), and it hurts like 10X if not more than getting it. So, no thanks.

Stupid teeth

OK, the whole reason I started this was so I could complain about my teeth, which have been bothering me since Sat. A blog is all about one's view on things or just to complain/vent. Well, my other blog, I'm 100% sure my parents read, and it's not that I hide stuff from them (OK, I do), but they get overly worried about me and certain stuff, and while I know it's nice to have someone worried about me, sometimes it just feels smothering.
So, now that I'm done explaining, back to my teeth. Sat and Sun way back in the back of my mouth by my molars, the gums were swollen and painful on the left side, so I thought maybe my wisdom teeth were coming in (as they hadn't already, and I knew I only had top ones coming in), but I didn't really wanna bother with a dentist (cause I really don't like dentists or doctors) unless stuff got really annoying, well, Monday, they were still kinda painful. So, Tuesday, when I woke up, it almost felt like my tongue was swollen and I was having a hard time swallowing (which made me think, either it was really bad or something else), so I called the dentist Tues afternoon and made an appt on Thurs, to see if it was wisdom teeth and then get a referral to an oral surgeon, if so. Well, Tues night, I'm poking at the gums, cause it really felt like there was something lodged in there (and pretty well, considering I do brush everyday with one of those electric toothbrushes), so I guess it finally got lodged out, and then it started bleeding, which I decided wasn't too good, as I don't bleed in the mouth usually and if so, it's a tiny bit, well, I was getting a nice mouthful of blood, that lasted maybe about 10 min or so, not that long, but seemed like a long time. And then it stopped, Wed when I woke up, my tongue and throat felt the same, and when I brushed my teeth I bumped my gums again, and they started bleeding again, but very little. And then today, I cancelled my appt, cause it was a little close to the time I had to be at work (didn't have enough time in-between) and everything feels fine today. Wierd, huh?

Also, to mention health stuff, now it really sounds like I'm just complaining about health, but if you know me, I don't usually complain unless it's really wierd. So, I go on about 2 mi walks as often as I can, and if it's not obnoxiously hot. So, yesterday finally talked myself off my ass to go on my walk. I was walking my normal pace and had to cut my walk short, cause I was having the hardest time catching my breath, also focusing my eyes. It kinda felt like I was trying really hard to keep myself standing up, that if I stopped, I'd stumble and fall. Now, that's never happened to me. But after sitting awhile and enjoying the breeze, I was ok. Very wierd.


Alright, so this is the unedited version of my life. If you want the one where I probably don't complain as much, try Weink's Wonders.
I decided since my parents read my main blog, I needed a new one where I could complain about them, health problems and everything else. They just have a tendency to get over worried about some stuff, and I sure's hell don't need that.