Word Up

OK, I usually post this on my MSN blog, but I found quite a few funny stories in last weeks' newsletter, so I thought I'd pass them on. Read the newsletter in full here.
First, a note about today:
We have Marines and other military fighting and dying attempting to bring democracy to a foreign country. What will you be doing on November 7? In Iraq, even attempting to vote can get you or a relative assassinated. Through two plus centuries, freedom is one of the things Marines have fought, bled and died for. File your absentee ballot or wear your gear to the polls and vote for the candidate of your choice. Don't like any of the choices? Write in your own name. This nation has been well served by Marines and Marine Family. We need more of those people in Washington.
s/f Dennis Benson
Proud Marine Dad

Don't know how funny this is to anyone else, but I get a chuckle every time I think of it. While standing guard late on night at the weapons armory outside the fence and my partner inside the fence at Camp Horno area at Camp Pendleton, I observed a Marine getting kind of close to the armory. In good Marine Corps guard fashion, I yelled "Halt, who goes there? The Marine said 'Officer of the Day.' Being someone who likes to 'rock the boat' sometimes, I decided to play a little game with the obviously a 2nd Lt. I replied, 'Officer of the Day not recognized, Sir, Place your ID on the ground in front of you, take 10 steps back and get into the pushup position, sir.' Officer of the day did as I requested and once in the pushup position, I approached and picked up his ID card and proceeded to question him to verify it was him on the military ID card with the indefinite expiration date. He was able to answer my questions along with looking like the young LT on the ID card. I allowed him to stand up and reported my post as being secure.
Little did I know, he then went to the Sgt of the Guard and gave me an ATTA BOY! Not the response I expected, but as I look back, he was not an officer with a holier than thou attitude as many were and respect him for that. Sir, wherever you are, Thank You.
Cpl Wayne Duprey
Golf 2/1, 1st Mar Div
1977-1981
PS – Love the quote from Albert Einstein, "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who do not do anything about it."
OOH RAH!

Don
My name is Paul Laskodi, Capt (Ret) U.S.M.C. I was wondering if ya could help in any way. I live in a sub-division called Remington Point, in Fort Worth, TX. The sales rep for KHovaininan homes is a young lady who thinks she is a commanding general. All of 24 years old. In the past they would fly our flag outside the sales office 24-7. Prior to her arrival I had the same issue with other reps. I explained the proper etiquette for flying the flag at night. They didn't listen and the flags came down. Yes! I took them. I had quite a collection and gave them to military friends. Two weeks ago they had another lapse and 2 more flags came down. The young lady came to my house and proceeded to give my wife the 3rd degree. I naturally stopped off at the sales office to give the young general a safety lecture as well as an education on how to display the flag. She asked that in the future, a simple reminder would sure help, if the lights were out. I agreed. Well............Today while going to work at O dark thirty, I notice the lights were out again. While on my way home I stopped off and kindly informed the young lady that the lights were out. She became upset and said that it was impossible. I said I wasn't there to argue. Just to inform as instructed. I was walking out to inform the other builder sales rep that their lights were out as well.......... The young lady followed behind and said "There is nothing that says we have to take that flag down". I stopped, turned around, and said "Don't take it down", and walked away. I had finished with the other builder sales rep, when the young general came walking across the street and in a loud voice said "How dare you disrespect me" (there were now two vehicles with people outside them in ear-shot of all that was being said) I asked her not to shout at me and please get away. She said "I'll have you arrested, and I'll call the police right now. I informed her that I spent 20 years defending MY flag and knew that at some point I might have to lay down my life for it, and if she thought that calling the police would intimidate me.......she was dead wrong I went home and then attended to some customers (I own a Blinds business) . My wife called to inform me that there were two police cars in front of our house at different times. I drove by the sales office on my way home and notice that the flag was still flying and it was dark. I intend to take the flag down on my way to work in the AM...so this might be the last bit of correspondence for a while. Take care and God Bless.......Semper Fi paul_44253 @ yahoo .com Paul S. LaskodiU.S.M.C. RetiredSemper Fi

Sgt. Grit, You were looking for a humorous story. This is something that happened to me a few years ago while I was visiting Parris Island. I was going through training at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center at what was once NAS Glynco, GA. One weekend I drove up to Parris Island. I'm a Hollywood Marine, having gone through training at MCRD San Diego in 1974 and I was curious on what type of sunglasses the recruits at MCRD Parris Island were issued.I was in the PX stocking up on Marine Corps logo gear. Unlike the days when I was a recruit, the recruits these days are allowed to go to the PX a few days before their graduation. On this day there were several female recruits in the PX. I got into the check out line behind several of the female recruits and was wondering if the line was reserved just for the recruits. I said to the young lady in front of me, "Excuse me, miss. Is this check out line just for the recruits or can I also be in line?" She turned around and snapped to attention and in a louder than normal voice replied, "Sir. No sir. This line is for anyone, sir." She had so much snap and pop in her reply. I said to her in a very easygoing tone, "Miss, you don't have to address me as sir. I'm just a retired Marine first sergeant" at which time her eyes got bigger, she snapped back to attention, and in a louder voice replied "Sir! Yes, Sir!" I realized that during her training she might not have even met a first sergeant. The highest ranking enlisted may have been her senior drill instructor, possibly a staff sergeant. I said to her, "You're going to make a good Marine. My best wishes for you." I then decided to find another line. I didn't want to be responsible for undoing weeks of training by her DI's. Besides, her motivation, bearing, and enthusiasm intimidated the heck out of me. They don't make recruits like they use to. Nope. They make them better. Semper FidelisHenry Miyashita1stSgt, USMC 1974-1994

A Col. and a LCpl are sitting in the barber shop both getting a haircut. The Barber finishes the Col hair and asks if the Col would like some after shave lotion. The Col replies "H#ll no, If I came home smelling like that my wife will think I've been hanging out in a French Whorehouse". The second Barber asks the LCpl if he'd like any aftershave lotion. The LCpl replies "Yes please, MY WIFE doesn't know what a French Whorehouse smells like".-God Bless the Lcpl's

I appreciate your newsletter so much! I entered the USMC, (or as I liked to call us: Uncle Sam's Misguided Children!) on April 21, 1975, and was discharged on July 2, 1982. Those were seven great years that I would not change for anything. I too have tried to get back in, but like so many, at 52 I'm too old. I have fond and humorous memories of my time in the Corps. One of the strangest was while at Parris Island during boot camp. I was in platoon 342. I entered the Corps just six months after I was ordained as a Baptist minister. I prayed a lot during boot camp. After a particularly trying day, I had gotten in my rack and was doing some talking to the Lord when I realized I really needed to make a head call....bad! As most of you remember, in order to make a head call, you had to have the DI's permission. I got up, went to the DI's door, slapped the red square with my hand and shouted: "LORD!, private Harrell requests permission to make a head call sir!". For some reason, the DI had a very strange look on his face when the door opened, and then the smile as he saw this red faced private standing there in his skivvies. Thank you for the service you are doing for our Corps through your newsletter. I read it from my church office religiously. SincerelySSgt R. S. HarrellAviation Radio Technician1975-1982

Sgt. Grit, Thank you for the newsletter...I get a boost every time I see it in my inbox. I was a recruit at Parris Island in 1983. The big thing at 3rd Bn was 'mountain climbers'. As we all know, these things can wear a recruit out quickly, if done correctly. Our hammer was Sgt. McKnight...Masochist McKnight is what we called him, but I digress. Sgt McKnight was wearing out a recruit on the quarterdeck one afternoon...pushup, sit-up, pushup, sit-up, mountain climb. After a bit, Sgt McKnight walked around a rack to discipline another recruit in the squad bay and apparently forgot about the original recruit on the quarterdeck he left performing mountain climbers. By the time Sgt. McKnight got back to the recruit on the quarterdeck, the recruit had completely stopped and was standing at attention, albeit sweating profusely. Sgt. McKnight charges the recruit, stops, points the infamous index finger in the recruit's face, and at the very top of his lungs, bellows out "I thought I told you to mountain climb?!". The recruit crisply responds back at the top of his lungs, "Sir, this recruit reached the top of the mountain, Sir." A sliver of a smirk appeared on Sgt. McKnight's face and then he barked, "Well, go back down and climb it again." The recruit, "Aye sir." Sgt. John Couturier1983-1988, 3rd Marine Air Wing 1988-1990, Drill Instructor 2nd Bn, MCRD San Diego

In your request for some humor I have a story that I laughed my boots off when it happened. Others as told thought yuck. Here goes. I was attached to HQBN north of DaNang. It was summer of 68 if memory is correct. We were on sandbag detail. Filling bukkoo sandbags and beefing up the bunker around the comm center. There was one guy who always would cop you can of pop (soda) from the fridge in the comm center, always. So this day the big ole boy from Texas decided to spit his chew juice into an open top pop can. About two thirds full, Tex placed this can in the fridge. We all kept working keeping one eye on ole Dick G. waiting,, just knowing he would eventually go for a beverage. Well about a half hour went by and then there goes Dick G. We all positioned ourselves where we could watch. And then as Dick G. grabbed the can from the fridge, turned to walk out of the comm center, took that ever so large gulp of what he thought was thirst quenching pop and as he hit the door we all scattered to avoid the eruption of what was coming out of Dick's mouth. Well after about 5 minutes of watching Dick G. toss everything he had eaten for two days we went back to work. Ever few minutes though there was a few more out loud chuckles. Well, after that you could leave your open can of pop anywhere and it was safe from good ole Dick G. Dick Weber, Veteran Cpl. USMC DaNang RVN67 Nov - 69 JulyIn Remembrance of BOB HOPE. Thank You MR. HOPE

Sgt Grit I was a DI, San Diego MCRD, From 1974 thru 1976. I had a recruit that was really slow and did not seem to be all there. No matter what we did he would foul it up. I finally asked him where he was from and why he join my Marine Corps. His response was. Sir, the Private is from Amarillo Texas and the Private thought it was going to be like Gomer Pyle on TV. Needless to say his time in the Marine Corps was short lived and NOT like Gomer Pyle, if you get my drift! Paul J. DeLaricheliereUSMC 1971 - 1979, SSgtUSMCR 1979 - 1999, CWO3 P.S. Yes they did learn to say and spell my name correctly.

Devil Dogs, Here it is you asked for an amusing story, well here is one of mine. Back in the fist Gulf War, I was stationed at the Port of Al Jubail, Saudi Arabia. I was told that the government paid for a cruise ship to be docked at a neighboring country - Bahrain (sp) for some R&R for all the troops. It was in Bahrain because Saudi was a dry country (no alcohol), at least until we got there - that's a totally different story; maybe for another time. Anyway, here we are on this docked cruise ship, just livin' it up. I was there with about 15 other Marines from my Battalion (2nd Supply Bn.), and most wanted to go into this little town near the ship. So here we are, a gaggle of jar heads in some foreign country just wandering about. Idle hands seem to find mischief.... We weren't supposed to bring any alcohol off the ship, but you know how things go. This little town wasn't anything to write home about, but at least we were out of the base for a while, and got to be quasi normal for a few hours. As we were going from little shop to little shop, we walked into a fabric store that had rows of bolts of cloth about 4' tall all standing upright. Well being my wise azz self, I saw a small bolt of black fabric. So I bent down and picked up the corner of this seemingly innocent black fabric. I put it to my face like I was wearing the traditional garment worn by the local women. Just then to my surprise as well as hers, that small black bolt of fabric turned around. It wasn't an innocent bolt of fabric at all, it was actually a short local woman buying fabric to make other garments. She turned to me, her eyes were as big as saucers, and she looked scared. I was pretty well freaked out too. Here I am holding the bottom of this ladies dress to my nose, remembering the stories of how criminals get there hands cut off and crap. For a few seconds we both just froze and stared at each other. I didn't know what to do... I've never been in a situation like that. Then my buddy said, "You might want to give the lady her clothes back!" I promptly apologized and then dropped her dress. Needless to say, we spent the better part of the rest of the trip laughing about that. Even today, I can't go into a fabric store with out a chuckle or two. Thanks for the Newsletter. Semper Fi Marines - keep up the good work! Cpl. Ross P. 1988 - 1992

Hey Sgt Grit, Glad to see a request for some good ol' funny stories. One event in particular comes to mind that I think everyone will be able to relate to a little. This actually happened to a buddy of mine but I get a kick out of it every time I tell it, of course giving him the credit. I'm sure everyone had someone they called "alphabet" as a nickname because the actual name of the person looked like it was spelled from a line in a word hunt puzzle. Well my buddy was acting as scribe marking down discrepancies for the Platoon Sgt during an Alpha's inspection. The Sgt asked the young Marine where he was from, which the Marine answered – Ohio. At the same time the inspecting Sgt asked the question he was looking for the name stamp on the inside of the Marine's cover, which was there and prompted him to say "D*mn, how do you pronounce that?"! The Marine being inspected, completely serious, in exaggerated pronunciation said "O –H –I –O ". My buddy said it took every ounce of concentration he had to keep his bearing. I think the young Marine got a little stronger that day.. Marc Valois Sgt of Marines 92-00 Semper Fi