Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Deep sigh

So, my birthday's in about 3 weeks, and once again I don't have anything planned. I tried to get friends together on facebook, but schedules don't always work out.
I told my parents I needed a new DVD player, and some Fareway cards. I'd really love to go shopping for some new clothes, mine are getting incredibly boring. I'd also just like money, but I know I'm not getting that.
I've been trying not to spend money and accumulate more stuff I don't need, but if you read my last post, that hasn't really happened lately. I really need to stop and think while I'm at garage sales.
I was asking my parents if we had plans for the 4th of July and my dad said some people were going to Chicago the week of the 6th and I said I was jealous. He said I could come along, but I can't afford it, I got so screwed with my paycheck that covered Christmas week.
I just feel sometimes that I need a break from my life (and it's not near as stressful as other peoples).
I've been really grumpy lately, and I can't really figure out why. I wonder if it's the heat, but I always loved the heat in the past, this year, it's just obnoxiously hot and it's not even summer yet.
Sometimes I wish for that prince to whisk me away from life. I know that's not gonna happen, but a girl can always dream.

Sometimes I think the reason I'm not excited about life is because of my depression. I've had it since end of high school and probably before that. I just don't seem to get near as excited about things as other people. Or, I'll expect something and then I do it and it's not near as exciting as I want it to be. I was thinking the other day, music really keeps me sane. If I'm in a bad mood, I turn on a good song like Burn it to Ground by Nickelback. Sometimes I just need a song with a great beat, sometimes I just need a song that calms me down.

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