Ya know, I don't mind getting up early when I have somewhere to go, but getting up at 7AM (or like today, getting woken up by pounding at 7AM) is not working for me.
Our house is getting a new roof, and in order to not be on it when it's wicked hot out, the guys are here at 7 every morning. Since I live on the 3rd floor, there's no way I'm not waking up at 7. I miss having to be at the bookstore at 8 every day and being busy all day. Granted I did not like getting home and falling asleep shortly thereafter, but I love being busy all day. I am searching for a full-time job, but I don't know what I want to do, I know what I don't mind doing, but I don't know what I want to do with my life.
Last Monday, Kevin and I had a talk, I had a gut feeling he was going to dump me. He didn't, he said he felt like I didn't want to do anything and that I needed to find a full-time job that was a career. He said I wasn't pushing myself very hard work-wise. Which is true, once I found the job at the games store last summer, I was just happy to find a job and kinda backed off on my job search. I am very happy to have the part-time job at the bookstore, but it's only 2-3 weeks every six months. And I really do love being away from my house every day. My mom said maybe I needed to do some career placement tests, sure why not. I love how Kevin told me I need to be looking at jobs outside of here, but I'm sure if I found a really cool one across the country, he wouldn't want to move with me. I think that would be really cool though, find one in a place I've never been and have to move and start all over in a new place, I'd love that challenge, but I'd also be afraid to do it.
Also, in order to be looking at jobs outside of here, I'd have to get a driver's license, which Kevin really wants me to do. So, I went driving with my mom last Saturday, it was fun, but my mom still had that tone, the irritated but I can't say too much tone because then she'll think I'm mad at her tone. I was going 14 as my top speed around this parking lot, and I thought that was fast. It reminded me how much I don't like driving, but I'd do anything for Kevin. Plus, just because I get the license, doesn't mean I HAVE to drive. I don't have a car, and I don't really have money to get a car, so....
I was actually thinking, it'd be so fun to get an old Nova or Mustang and fix it up so it was gorgeous again. That would be sooo fun.
I was thinking that I doubt Kevin would consider doing art a real job, even if I did get to the point where I could pay all my bills and have money left over. I think to him, it would require someone else paying my health insurance and getting out of the house all day. Though I would love to get to the point in my art that I could pay all my bills that would be great.