Monday, September 07, 2009

I can't be held responsible, she was touching her face

It's been a very exhausting day. I feel like I've been crying for 3/4 of it.
It was supposed to start out with Kevin coming over this morning. But, he never did, I think he went and partied with his buddies. I hadn't talked to him since Saturday night. I was worried, figured something happened to him, so I took the bus over to his house, where both of his trucks were sitting. He wasn't asleep on his bed, his roommate's girlfriend said he left in a red truck (one of his friends). I walked home, on the verge of tears for 3 miles. I called him during my walk time (probably the 6th time this morning), he finally picked up saying he was at his friend's house, and I knew the only way he was there at that time with both his trucks at his house was if he didn't have to work last night and hung out with them. When I told him I went to his house because I was worried, he didn't say anything, I let him go so he could sleep.
By the time I got home, I was exhausted and pissed. I'm not quite sure what I did all afternoon. I called him again at 4 asking if he planned to go to a picnic in my neighborhood that I mentioned this morning. I called again at 5, 5:14 and then 5:30 when he finally picked up. I asked him about the picnic to which he replied he'd forgotten all about it. I found that hard to believe seeing as how I left him a message at 4, but didn't say anything. He said he was in Des Moines hanging out with his friends again. He said he might come over tonight. I don't believe him, that's what he said about this morning on Saturday.
I know he's been brooding over something since he got back from an offroading excursion last Tuesday, he's been different. He hasn't said anything, but you know about that female intuition thing.
I had a horrible dream last night about how he was going to break up with me and he didn't give a damn about my feelings. I started thinking this morning it was true when I couldn't find him at his house.
I bought this cute little butterfly thing for us to enjoy, I was waiting for him last night and this morning to show it to him, and then again from 2 to 5:30. I don't know if he'll get to see it.

I understand he wants to hang out with his friends, but what's so hard about picking up the phone and telling me that? Why can't he say he's sorry (even if he's not) for making me worry, for "forgetting" about the picnic. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or not, but it really hurts.

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