I want a ticket to anywhere

Fast Car by Tracy Chapman

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere

Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

You see my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
I say his body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way

I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
And we go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs

I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans
I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way


Ever feel like that? Wish I had a fast car to take me away.

I don't know who I am anymore

"I just... what happened to us? You know? I don't know who I am anymore. Or how I got here. I miss who I used to be. I wanna have a home again, ya know? And real friends. You know, the kind of friendships we used to believe in. I miss that....I guess I just miss all of it. Does any of that make any sense?"
Took this quote from the show I was watching tonight, rings pretty true in my life.

Damn

I'm so screwed. I'm debating whether to cash in my camel bank's savings. I've had this bank since I was a little kid, I'm pretty sure there's not much money in it, but it has sentimental value. It was supposed to be saved until I needed it. It's sad to say that I need it now. I'm cashing in all my new state quarters, that in itself is over $10, I figured I really don't need them collecting dust, they're gonna be around forever anyway. I'm ok with money now, but the beginning of the month is coming up and after rent, student loans, credit card bill, I'm gonna be so screwed. And I know there's no unexpected money deposited into my bank account this time, no tax rebate for me. I can't even cash in the money I made in surveys, cause I already did that. I've been posting things like crazy on my etsy store, hoping someone will want to buy them, but since it's a $0.20 posting fee, it doesn't seem worth it to keep racking up a bill on there when nothing is selling. Course, I also keep thinking that once I put everything up, something (or maybe even a lot of things) will sell, and I'll be ok. But there's not a lot up there (moneywise) that would buy me out of debt. The temporary agency I got hired with says they usually get busy around April 1st, well April starts on Tuesday, so I'm hoping that's the case and I'll get something.

Do you ever get away?

I was watching Bones tonight, and at the end, Agent Booth says to Bones "When you're away with someone, you joke about not going back...but when you're alone, the possibilities are endless".
It led me to thinking, what if it's not a joke, but the other person believes it, because it'd be insane or wrong to not want to go back. I wonder how many people only laugh because it's the norm to laugh. Maybe they're lonely, even with someone, hate their job, though it may be the perfect job, don't even want to live, even if they have the perfect life.
Then I started thinking, is it a joke to me or not?

crazy old days

Since I have no job at the moment, I'm attempting to sell my artwork/some supply items I have on an online art website. If anyone's interested, I'm sticking a link up on the side. It's a really neat site to browse through.

This is your hometown.

Kevin and I were in Walmart the other day and I was debating whether to buy a CD or not, I asked him and he said I didn't really need THAT CD. That CD, which I did end up buying, is Bruce Springsteen's Greatest Hits. I grew up listening to the record of Born In The USA, I can tell what song is on side two of the record (No Surrender). I borrowed my Dad's boxed set of Bruce's and copied the whole thing onto my computer and Mp3 player. I find it quite funny how Kevin doesn't quite get the whole thing of how much I love The Boss. Wonder if that kinda makes me older than him. My dad raised my brother and I on Bruce Springsteen, Elton John and Billy Joel, I even remember listening to Old Time Rock N Roll by Bob Seger numerous times.

She lets you into her heart

I knew what I wanted the first time I ever saw him.
I walked into my Criminal Justice class that day, saw him leaning over his desk and thought I’d like to have him for a boyfriend. Now, two years later, he is. I’m in love with him and I would marry him and have his children if he asked me too.
I was thinking tonight, as I watched him climb into his truck and start it up, I’m surprised it actually happened. I’ve been watching him get into that truck and drive away since the first time he came over. We were just acquaintances then, he had broken up with his girlfriend a few months before, and all I wanted at the moment was to be there for him if he needed it. I knew nothing about relationships, but I told him if he needed anything, I’d try to help him out. He came over because we were both very bored on that day in April, we spent a few hours here, me giving him a 25 cent tour of my apartment and him (most likely very bored) learning about me. We then continued across town to his apartment and me getting the quarter tour from him. We talked until about 11 that night. A few nights later he came over after work and we talked until 2 in the morning. That’s the way it continued for a few weeks. When I got my job in March, he was the first person I called and told. I brought him along to a bike night and he met my best friend. After we got back from that I remember talking to her and her mom, and them telling me “don’t overthink it” I’ve taken that advice and we’ve come so far. The ring on my finger will always tell every other person guy or girl, that I’m taken, it’s not an engagement ring, but I would say yes if it were.

The best of blue

My parents took me out to lunch today, and for the first time they didn't bring up work and money. I figured that's what they were gonna do. They've learned that in order to back me into a corner, they have to give me something in return, like bribing a child to do something they don't want to do.
I've found out how much my mother and I have grown apart. It seems that now I can go out and form my own opinion, we don't agree like we used to. She's still stuck in her councilperson mode, she has to get all the facts and the majority opinion before she can give her own "opinion". She also has this great (annoying) tendency to just bring something up and then when someone asks a question about it, she gets mad and says how she shouldn't have to know the answer.

I'm watching Makeover Home Edition, and they're remodeling a house of a preacher who also rides motorcycles, and they ask a whole bunch of bikers to help them tear down the house. I so MISS biking.
I've already told Kevin that I plan on putting my CL ad up again this year. I miss it that much. He's all worried that the biker will get the wrong idea, or that I'll read them wrong and end up on the back of the bike with the wrong person. I tried to assure him that that wouldn't happen. I think it's more of I'm gonna be on the back of a guy's (usually it's a guy) bike. Wouldn't want some other guy getting me. I just really miss being on the back of a bike. Out on the open road, it's so free, so far away from stress and life.

ICK!!!

UGH! So, I'm wondering if I became allergic to something in the past couple of days. Last night I was itching around my belly and had some raised spots that kinda looked like bug bites, also my ears were extremely red and hot. I researched a little on the net this morning, and it looked like I had hives. The website I was at, said they would go away and maybe come back. They did, they went away last night, and then came back this morning, went away, came back this afternoon, went away and came back again tonight. My ears were also very red and hot and itchy again tonight. I was trying to think if there was a common thing I ate or came in contact with today and yesterday. But I really can't think of anything, except my guinea pig and drinking the Vault. I'm wondering if, for some reason, I'm getting allergic to the Vault, or that my body's having a weird reaction to it. I have no idea. Any thoughts?

It's a hope ticket

Only really big news is that we have a SuperWalmart now. I swear everytime I go in it, (I've been there 2 times in the last week) it feels like I'm in Cedar Rapids, not here. Guess it's time we realize we're finally becoming a big city. Next thing you know we'll have a new mall, and if we're lucky the guy that owns the other mall will get in gear and make that one much better.
Let's see, other interesting stuff about me....My w's turned 4 last week. Karli had her 24th birthday, which we celebrated (her, me, Kevin, and 4 other of her friends) at Okoboji Grill (can you believe there's not an Okoboji Grill in Okoboji?) with food and a drink, then 5 of us continued on to Brewer's (a smokeless bar in Somerset) and had another drink, you can really taste the alcohol in those drinks. I had one drink there, and it felt like the time I drank on an empty stomach (my stomach was full this time). And then the next day, I got to go work the last basketball game of the season, that was bumming, cause now I have no regular work. I hate that I'm going through this all again this year, so much for graduating college and having a guaranteed high-paying job. I don't think I'll last til May this year, my tax refund helped, but I'm pretty sure I won't last til May. Course last year, when I was at my wit's end I found a job, I'm really hoping that's what will happen this year, course I don't want to be at my wit's end, but.... I'm also trying to sell some of my artwork online, it's not working, but when you choose to put it on a site where there's thousands of other sellers, you just hope your stuff will catch someone's eye.
I'm trying to think if there's anything else new, but I decided if I have to think this long, there's probably not.
Hope all my loyal readers and one time passers by are having a good day and life. Enjoy it.

They didn't have you where I come from

So, I’m watching the Tyra show (yeah, yeah, yeah, make whatever comments you want), and she’s saying now there’s a Violent Girls Syndrome. Why the hell is everything explained as a disease nowadays? It’s not a syndrome, it’s how things are being taken care of, parents can’t discipline their kids because they might get reported to DHS, school officials/teachers can’t discipline kids because the parents complain. Cops do it and then someone complains about the cops and police brutality. It’s bullshit. If people would back out and let others discipline kids like they’re supposed to, life may not be like it was when my parents were kids when you were more scared of what your parents were gonna do to you if you acted up in school, but maybe we could get back to something close to that.
But, no everything’s a disease, a kid bouncing off the walls because his parents feed him pop and candy all day has ADD, people on drugs are sick because they can’t do anything about it. If you do it to yourself, it’s not a disease, it’s called taking responsibilities for your actions. Considering no one can do that anymore, big surprise everything’s a disease.

By the way, Men In Trees is on tonight. Check it out, ABC 10/9 central.

And that's where I'm headed

Found this on Officer Smith.
Answer the questions below.
Type each answer into photobucket.
Take any picture from the first page of results and post (click on the picture and copy the HTML code).
You can't copy the person's answers who posted this before you!
Add your own question at the end.

1. What age will you be at your next birthday?

OK, all the pictures sucked, so this is what you get
2. A place you'd like to travel?

3. Your favorite place?

4. Your favorite object?

Also very close, at the moment, it's the ring Kevin gave me
5. Your favorite food?

Not even close, I like Napoleans (it's a pastry)
6. Your favorite animal?

7. Your favorite color?

8. The town in which you were born?

I wish
9. The name of a past pet?

I didn't have a buttons, but I liked the picture
10. A bad habit of yours?

11. Your first job?

12. Favorite song?

13. Favorite holiday?

I loved this photo
14. Favorite sport to watch?

I don't watch sports
15. Favorite thing to do?

16. Nickname?

17. Favorite hobby?

Trucks and bikes, the only thing that could make it better would be some sweet ass 60's cars as well.

It'd be fun if people wanted to do this, but I'm not going to tag anyone (people really hate that), if you do do this one, leave me a comment, so I can come see yours.

I'm over your hands

Everybody say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my kitty, he's 3 years old today. Kinda hard to believe I've had him for three years.

So, if I was unsure Kevin and I are in it for the long haul, I would be very sure tonight. We were talking about what we want in our house.

Brother runs in, feathers on his head

Ever step back from your life and ask yourself "How the hell did I get here? How would my life be different if I had made decisions differently earlier in life?"
I wonder if I had made the decision to care about driving when I was 16, would I have my own truck, motorcycle or sweet car by now?
If I had followed my heart into making art and applied to art schools, would I be on the beaches of California or in New York City where everyone knew my name and my work was revered by millionaires?
If I had chosen to really try in business would I be making thousands of collars and not have to worry about if I have the money to buy a new bra.
If I had applied to the local police department or done an internship there, would I be out there catching the criminals rather than just watching and admiring from afar?
If I had let my character flaw take over my life, would I be in a completely different place?
I don’t regret any of my decisions, but sometimes I wonder.
I know I’m not old by any means, but sometimes I wonder and dream.

There’s a show coming up on NBC soon called Quarterlife about a group of friends that have no idea where they want to be in life. I plan to watch it to see if I can learn anything. I don’t know where I want to be right now and I do wish someone had told me in high school THIS is what happens after college. Just because you spend 4.5 years of your life earning this degree doesn’t meant you’re guaranteed a job after graduation. You’ll be looking for a job you can handle where you’ll get paid barely enough to pay your bills every month and maybe get to spend a little extra on yourself.
The American dream of the perfect job, benefits, house, 2.5 children, spouse, picket fence and dog isn’t just given to you. You have to work for it. You’ll be lucky to have a job along with your husband where you can get ahead in this world. You’ll most likely be in debt for the rest of your life between college loans, car payments, house payments.
We need to teach our children the reality of the American dream, because what I learned about it when I was a kid, good luck getting it now.

It tore me up to sign them papers

It's so nice to come home after work to my mother whinning about the snow/ice on the steps. When I was a kid, my brother and I shared cleaning off the steps and porch, then when he got old enough, he 'graduated' to sidewalks and I got to do the steps and porch, now that I'm doing sidewalks, maybe the one person in the house that rarely does any snow removal should do the steps and porch. What an idea! Or maybe when we leave before Wendy does the shoveling, we should get in gear and DO IT OURSELVES! Because that's where it's hardest to get where SOMEONE's footsteps are. If I moved somewhere where I wouldn't have to listen to my mom complain about something I did or didn't do, life would get 20% better.
Also, I love it how people figure that because I'm working the game, I care about the game. Yes, I'm 'guarding' the basketball offices, but that doesn't mean I work the game to watch it or even care what the score is. Though it is entertaining that they think that.

It's time for a meme again

Here's my other present from Kevin

(It's not an engagement ring)

Finish the sentence with the first thought that comes to mind.
I know I’m sick of snow
I believe in love
I fought winter, and winter won
I am angered when people talk before thinking
I love Kevin
I need food
I take what is mine
I hear the whirring of my computer
I drink too much pop
I hate looking for a job
I use mixed media in my art
I want a job
I like my new ring
I feel hungry
I wear pajamas
I left my pig in a stinky house
I do art
I hope my ring is more than just a Valentine’s Day present
I dream of having a long life with Kevin
I drive never
I listen to my heart
I type random stuff
I think happy thoughts
I wish for a job
I regret encouraging certain people to do things
I care about Kevin
I should not have sat in front of my computer all day
I am hungry
I said hi to Ralph a second ago
I wonder when I will figure out the point
I changed my socks
I cry at sappy movies
I lose my concentration
I leave too much crap on the floor

New Link

Alright people, check out the new link, I stuck on the sidebar.
Honeyridge Puppies is my co-worker's site. She breeds Bichons and she's got a few she's trying to sell. Even if you're not interested in buying a puppy, it's fun to see how they grow between pictures. And if you're curious, they're really cute and adorable in person too, I've seen them and wish I could take one home.

The joys of living in Iowa

Here's a great big Fuck Off And Die to the company that decided they had to come by at 11:20 tonight and use their noisy snowblowers to clear off my neighbors sidewalks. Lucky for them I was still awake, because if they had woken me up, you can bet to hell I would have gone outside and yelled at them (like I did to my neighbor a few years ago, when he decided to shovel his sidewalk after 11pm, and I had to get up and go to class the next day). I get that they have to do this, but do they think about the other working people in the world that might have to get up and go to work the next day? I'd be rather amused to see what would happen if they woke up a cop that had to go to work at 7 am, (the cop would have to be up at least by 6am), that would be an interesting conversation to listen in on.

Yes, we got another big (more or less) snowstorm in Iowa today. I'd have to say I agree with the people interviewed on the news, I'm sick of it. I'm very ready for spring with melting temperatures and no more shoveling snow. I get the luxury of going out tomorrow morning and salting the sidewalks, because we received rain before the snow, so everything is coated in ice underneath the snow.

Happy Heart Day to all

Kevin gave me some really cool gifts for Valentine's Day:

A cute stuffed frog

My card

And another gift I can't show you for a week, but you're gonna love it, I sure did.

Hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day

Up where they run

You know what's sad? My other two blogs are bypassing this one in stats and I don't even update them. So much for my loyal readership, huh? I do appreciate the 3 or 4 of you that keep coming back, don't think I don't. I know my blog's not exciting, but I'm going to try to start posting everyday, even if it's just random thoughts in my head (great way to scare off my remaining readers, eh?).
So, I've gotten pretty damn close to broke. I have one more check coming from my previous employer, but what I have in the bank now will barely cover my credit card bill, and I have to pay health insurance on the 15th and my phone bill comes not to soon after that.
I actually applied to a couple jobs today, that I never would in the past. I hate not having money. At least last year I started out with a nice plush lining in my bank account (because I graduated, people gave me money), but not this year. I was so happy when I finally got that job in May, I won't even last til May this year.
It's so bad, I can't even afford (OK I know there are people waaay worse off than me, but I'm used to having my own money to be able to buy what I want) to make the Valentine's dinner I was going to for my boyfriend, because I can't afford the extra food. Guess I'll cook the boxed meal I have instead of cooking from scratch. Don't worry I have food, I will find money to pay my bills and food, even if that means nothing fun for me. If all else fails, the stirp club is looking for people.
So, I was shoveling snow yesterday and grumbling to myself (as usual), and I saw this bunny rabbit that's been hanging around my yard this year (No, I have no idea if it's the same one, but I've only seen one, not a bunch), and he was just there munching away at this bush. I love it when I see animals or just cool things in nature, that makes me pause from my life and appreciate stuff around me.
We went to a pretty expensive restaurant for my dad's birthday on Monday, and I decided, I'd rather have a greasy, juicy cheeseburger from McDonald's over that fancy food any day. I guess I'm just not cut out for the high class fancy food. Oh well. But the desert was good, go figure huh?