I want a Designer frisbee

What is a designer frisbee you may ask. Well, my friend, Loretta's dogs cross bred to create one. Neither one of us thought it would happen, but I guess that's what you get when you have a female Burmese Mountain Dog in heat and a male Bichon Frise knowing this. I'm rather intrigued to know how big they'll get and what they'll be like.

I'll post a picture if she ok's it.

Come back baby, please come back

Men are happier people:
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000 Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

So continuing on with the soundtrack of my life, I found a song that relates to my (lack of) realtionship with dream guy

Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne

Hey Hey You You
I don't like your girlfriend
No way No way
I think you need a new one
Hey Hey You You
I could be your girlfriend

Hey Hey You You
I know that you like me
No way No way
No, it's not a secret
Hey Hey You You
I want to be your girlfriend

You're so fine
I want you mine
You're so delicious
I think about you all the time
You're so addictive
Don't you know
What I can do
To make you feel alright

Don't pretend I think you know
I'm damn precious
And hell yeah
I'm the mother fucking princess
I can tell you like me too
And you know I'm right

She's like so whatever
You can do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everyone's talking about

Hey Hey You You
I don't like your girlfriend
No way No way
I think you need a new one
Hey Hey You You
I could be your girlfriend

Hey Hey You You
I know that you like me
No way No way
No, it's not a secret
Hey Hey You You
I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way
I see the way
You look at me
And even when you look away
I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time
again and again

So come over here
and tell me what I wanna hear
Better, yet, make your girlfriend disappear
I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again


OK, I have no idea if the 2nd verse is true (it would be nice if it was, but I doubt it).

Found this in my April Reader's Digest. The money "provides the means to send children on a camping adventure - a week to forget about cancer and a week to share experiences with friends - a week to do art - a week to laugh and enjoy the wonders of summer!" So, it's a great cause. It sucks when anyone gets cancer, but children are just trying to grow up, they don't need to dealw ith cancer as well.

We can't keep the field

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.
Not as easy as you might think...
1. Yourself? Wendy
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse? None
3. Your hair? straight
4. Your mother? Sharon
5. Your father? Don
6. Your Favorite Item: (I don't know, and if I did, I know I couldn't do it in one word)
7. Your dream last night: sensational
8. Your Favorite drink: Vault
9. The room you are in: livingroom
12. Your Fears: unknown
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? happy
14. Who you hung out with last night: me
15. What You're Not? normal
16. Muffins? chocolate
17: One of Your Wish List Items: job
18. Time: 13:42
19. Last thing you did? blog
20. What You Are Wearing? jeans
21. Your Favorite Weather: rainy
22. Your Favorite Book: law
23. The last thing you ate: Dove
24. Your Life: interesting
25. Your Mood: bored
26. Your friends: priceless
27. What are you thinking about right now? chilling
28. What are you doing at this moment? typing
30. Your summer: hot
31. Your relationship status? single
32. What is on your tv? FieldofDreams
33. When is the last time you laughed? now
34. last time you cried? yesterday
35. school? graduated

LAYER ONE: Spell your name with bands/artists
W - Who, The
E - Eminem
N - Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
D - Def Leppard
Y - Yoakam, Dwight

LAYER TWO:
-- full Name: W J W (Sorry kids, not disclosing that)
-- Birthdate: July 2, 1983
-- Nickname: weinkermeyer, weink, wendell
-- Current Location: living room
-- Eye Color: hazel
-- Righty or Lefty: righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Cancer

LAYER THREE:
-- The shoes you wore today: none yet, will be wearing tennis shoes later
-- Your weaknesses: flames, motorcycles, cops, military
-- Your fears: the unknown
-- Your perfect pizza: mushroom stuffed crust pizza
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: To have a job (very soon), be happy

LAYER FOUR:
-- Your best physical feature: that I do not know
-- Your bedtime: whenever I get tired
-- Most missed memory? knowing the future was planned out for me

LAYER FIVE:-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
-- Adidas or Nike: Doesn't matter
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Neither
-- Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Neither

LAYER SIX:
-- Curse: When people piss me off
-- Sing: When I'm alone to good music
-- Take a shower everyday: Every other
-- Have a crush: DUH! Dream Guy, Jason Aldean
-- Do you think you've been in love?: Yeah
-- Want to go to college: Been there, graduated, now what?
-- Like(d) high school: It was tolerable, I liked how I knew what was coming next and I loved my art classes
-- Want to get married: Someday
-- Think you're a health freak: Not even close
-- Get along with your parents: As well as is able, mom and I clash a lot
-- Play an instrument: No

LAYER SEVEN: In the past month;
-- Drank alcohol: Yes
-- Done a drug: No
-- Gone to the mall: Yes
-- Kissed someone: No
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No
-- Eaten Sushi: No
-- Been on stage: Yeah, for graduation
-- Gone skating: No
-- Made homemade cookies: No
-- Gone Skinny dipping: No
-- Stolen anything: No

LAYER EIGHT: Ever;
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: No
-- If so, was it mixed company: -- No
-- Been called a tease: Maybe?
-- Been beaten up: Yes, when I was in 4th grade an older guy did ASSHOLE

LAYER NINE:
--Age you hope to be married: 30?
--Numbers of Children: None
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: I'm thinking small ceremony with close friends and relatives, planning on wearing my prom dress (it's periwinkle, but I think it's perfect) beyond that I haven't really figured it out
--What country would you most like to visit?: Ireland

LAYER TEN: In the opposite sex
--Best eye color?: I don't think it matters, but I like blue
--Best hair color?: Once again, doesn't matter
--Short hair or long hair?: Inbetween, I want something to run my fingers through
--Height: Taller than 5'8, I wanna be able to look up at him, but not too tall
--Best weight: Slim to a little heavy, not too heavy

LAYER ELEVEN:
--Number of people I could trust with my life: A few
--Number of CDs that I own: 69 + 50 or so that I've made


I was watching Field of Dreams today, some say its the movie that put Iowa on the map. And I love this quote by Terance Mann (played by James Earl Jones), he says it towards the end of the movie when Ray Kinsella (played by Kevin Costner) is pushed to sell the farm by Mark (played by Timothy Busfield):
"Ray, people will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come."


So, I found this in my email today. It teaches us a valuable lesson: Don't get into an 8 foot helium balloon.
HIGH ON LIFE: "Take a deep breath..."
(3 June 2006, Florida) Two more candidates have thrown themselves into the running for a Darwin Award. The feet of Jason and Sara, both 21, were found protruding from a deflated, huge helium advertising balloon. Jason was a college student, and Sara attended community college, but apparently their education had glossed over the importance of oxygen. When one breathes helium, the lack of oxygen in the bloodstream causes a rapid loss of consciousness. Some euthanasia experts advocate the use of helium to painlessly end one's life. The pair pulled down the 8' balloon, and climbed inside. Their last words consisted of high-pitched, incoherent giggling as they slowly passed out and passed into the hereafter. Sheriff's deputies said the two were not victims of foul play. No drugs or alcohol were found. The medical examiner reported that helium inhalation was a significant factor in their deaths. A family member said "Sara was mischievous, to be honest. She liked fun and it cost her."

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

In case you all need a laugh for the week, here are a couple:
Why We Love Children !

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. "
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes."
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear.

And, in case anyone cares, I now have a gmail account.

There goes the neighborhood

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying itI told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and that was why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
And as long as we're on the subject of dieting, etc. Take a laugh at this.

When you wanna come

To anyone who's not very good out there. I had a person in mind, but I decided to be nice.

Christmas Carols for the Disturbed
1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bel ls, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ....

Goddess sent this to me last week. It's pretty interesting. If I had the guts (cause we know I don't have the balls) to post something like it I would.