I got some more swaps in the mail. This one is My Valentine Swap from Allenaim Photography.
She sent me a container of tea, some vintage linen napkins, a head scarf, a bird, a fabric flower and a bunch of Hershey's Bliss.
Here's the close-up of one of the linen items.I am happy with most of the items. I don't like tea, but I love the roses on the top of the container, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do with that. I received this package last week sometime.
The next one is from my Healthy Valentine Swap partner, Lisa Anspach.
So, there is a cute stamp, some apple smelling hand soap, a caribbean smelling candle, a "W" journal, some emery boards, a set of notecards, a bar of soap, a set of tags, and a very cute egg. Lisa posted my package on her blog, so go ahead and click her name above to see what I sent her.I was so happy to see this package on my doorstep on Wed. I finally decided that Kevin and I are broken up on Monday night. I felt that if you don't call your "significant other" on Valentine's, no matter what you're going through, they aren't your significant other. So, it massively helped to see this gift with items picked out just for me, Thanks so much Lisa.
Since I didn't get any Valentine gifts from Kevin, Tuesday, I decided to wander down to Walmart and Target and buy something for me. I ended up spending about $25 dollars on stuffed animals and chocolate. I originally planned to buy one of Walmart's $10 alien/monsters I had seen, but they didn't have any left, so I got a big pink teddy bear, and it has definitely helped me lately.
At Target, I bought 2 boxes of chocolates, one Russel Stover with a very cute "ugly doll" on the front, and one Ghiradelli. In the future, I will not waste money on Russell Stover, out of the 10 chocolates in the box, I ate 3, the rest tasted like crap. The Ghiradelli on the other hand, is splendid, but I have been rationing. I also bought a puppy dog, which is extremely cute, and a pink lion.
I decided today, that stuffed animals get me through everything. I have tons from places I've been and important times in my life. I have a bunch of stuffed frogs that Kevin got me, most of them in the closet now, so I don't have to see them. And the pink teddy bear, is really helping when I have to curl up and cry with it.
I also finally took all of Kevin's Christmas presents and put them in the closet so I didn't have to look at them.
I would still love to know why out of the blue he decided I wasn't worth talking too, or having as a girlfriend anymore. I don't know if I can really talk to him, should he ever decide to call, I'm just so upset over it. I would love to get my Christmas presents, since he decided to stop talking to me before I could have them, plus I want my things back. I did text him before I realized we were through saying I wanted my stuff back if we weren't together. I think that's reasonable.
I'm not ready to talk to my family about this yet. I changed my status on Facebook Monday night back to single. I've told people at work, but I still have an incredibly hard time, not letting my voice crack. I moved most of the stuff he's given me, out of my site. I stopped wearing the ring, and am thinking about investing in a nice peridot ring for myself. Though, it's been nice not having a ring on my finger anymore.
I wish I had friends closer in mileage to me to hang out with. I've been working a lot last week and this week, because when I'm at work, my mind's on other things, and it doesn't wander. I really need to take a nice long walk with my headphones and music, since it's been nice lately (better do it soon, as I've heard there's snow in the forecast), it was 50 degrees before 8Am this morning.
I would just like to do something with friends for me to get my mind off him. Thankfully, he doesn't need to come to this part of town for anything, so hopefully I won't see his truck. But, I'm coping. He was my first boyfriend, and I've never broken up before, so I don't know what it's like. Any suggestions on coping would be great.
And now that I've bored you all, I'm signing off. Thank you for all my new followers from One World, One Heart. I hope you'll stick around awhile, but my posts jump all around on emotions. I will be posting something I found at an antique mall soon, I just keep forgetting to take the picture when it's light out.
Thank you all for reading.
3 comments:
I had a big long comment all written out, but then there was an error posting and it was deleted! Will write it again tomorrow!
So glad you liked your package and it arrived at the "right" time!
Hang in there! The right guy will come along just at the right time. Believe me, mine came along when I least expected it! :)
It sounds like you are well rid of him. What he did/is doing is emotionally sadistic, and it's good you got out. You two were in a relationship for long enough that he really owes you a face-to-face breakup, or at least a goddamn phone call. He's being a big coward, and I think it's good you pulled the plug.
Advice/coping skills:
1) Wallow a bit. Not enough to become horribly bitter or depressed, but you need to mourn the relationship. Sit in front of the TV with some ice cream, have some drinks, whatever. You invested a lot of time and energy into this relationship, and it's okay to acknowledge that and feel sad (again, just be careful not to do it for too long). This leads to step 2...
2) Get out of the house. Now is a time to lean on friends and family. Spend time with friends and family, join clubs or whatever to make new friends, or just GET OUT and be with people. You'll feel better, and you'll remember that you have a life outside of him.
3) Meet new people. Make a profile on OK Cupid, go to bars, etc. A friend of mine once said, "The best way to get over someone is to shellac yourself with the saliva of other men." This doesn't mean you have to slut yourself out (not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that), it just means you should meet people, flirt, maybe make out a little, you get the picture. It helps you realize that there are more fish in the sea. Also, be careful not to close yourself off to a new relationship. Love can spring up in unexpected places, and you don't want to be so depressed/bitter that you miss out on something good.
4) Finally, don't be friends with him. After you get all of your shit sorted out, don't be friends, at least not for a year or so. You really need to cauterize those wounds, and the best way to do that is to cut off all contact. After a year or so has gone by you can maybe reconnect on facebook or something and be friends again (if you want to), but don't do the friends thing. It's bullshit and way too painful.
Finally, I'd encourage you not to regard this relationship as a failure. Our society has a sick measure of success, which is that a relationship is considered successful when one of the people in it dies. You could be on your way to filing divorce papers, but if you get hit by a bus and die, the marriage was a success. I think that if you had fun (through most of it, obviously not the end), you learned something, and you didn't come out horribly scarred, you can call the relationship a success.
Like I said, don't get bitter about this. You're still young, and you'll find someone. You're a good person, and worthy of love. Just hang in there.
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